Hope No More
by pete marshall
The stars fell out the sky tonight
to sink beneath the estuary waves
that licked the shorelines tarnished sand
and cause a swell within the bay.
Hope was blown through open doors
across the green beyond the street
to fall amongst the rubbish bins
where foxes fought for scraps to eat.
Cobwebs filled a sullen room
as dust would swirl outside the door
where words were mixed with scattered doubts
within the books strewn on the floor.
His life was lost in wishful dreams
across the pond, the waters green
the stagnant smell of rotting weeds
the loss of all that could have been.
***************
This is my poem for One Shot Wednesday, at One Stop Poetry. If you like poetry whether reading or writing why not check it out, opens every Tuesday at 5pm EST (10pm UK)
image courtesy creative commons flickr http://www.flickr.com/photos/pindec/
53 comments:
Perhaps we're having the same sort of day, Pete. But you know what happens when we lose hope: despair loves it. I really like this poem-- it is honest, intense. xj
the intesety of your words is amazing...it seems to light, but the only word I can think to describe this piece...brilliant.
oh pete - so much sadness in this..thanks for being authentic, thanks for being honest and thanks for sharing a piece of your heart with us...hugs from across the pond
wow pete.. sad poem.
excellent write my friend
Powerful poem with great imagery. Human potential lost to despair.
I really dug this Pete, and you meter so well. This doesn't read that sad to me, more like one of those moments where we sit down and think about what's going on in life...
"the loss of all that could have been" ~ an echo of depths in this one line among the many that cut deep...amazing writing Pete, sadness, but that's probably perhaps where we obtain our greatest strengths....~April
so sad...but I've been in this place at times...and somehow, managed to climb back out.
Beautiful poem Pete.
"...Hope was blown through open doors
across the green beyond the street
to fall amongst the rubbish bins
where foxes fought for scraps to eat...", I like this part.This is a brilliant and throbbing poem.
Powerful words Pete.
In the closing stanza alone the words 'lost, green, stagnant and loss.' define the intensity of this work. You really got down and dirty on this one...I just hope you're doing okay!
"His life was lost in wishful dreams
across the pond, the waters green
the stagnant smell of rotting weeds
the loss of all that could have been."
I recognize your green pond...oh so well...if there's anything one can do to help feelings of total despair it is through your honesty in writing a poem such as this...amazing communication and analogies...wonderful writer you are...
how absolutely desperate.
sadness, well done.
you capture a vivid sadness my friend...i still hold out hope...
Your usual masterful job, Pete. Greener waters..has a lot of meaning. Hope things get better soon and the lights stay one. Much love.
wonderful ballad work, and what a story to tell! always glad when I stop by here, friend pete
Monty / bummy
Awesome writing Pete. I see and feel a good meter in the lines. I like how you change the focus from stanza to stanza, yet hold together the integrity of the poem. Love your work man!
Profound...and beautiful..
♥ ஆ
I can really feel the desperation and despondence of lost hopes. And the rhythm is almost musical to me in a sad song kind of way.
It´s so sad... I can understand perfectly. I have been there and many times... Hope is like the old trees that though Winter left them without leaves... reborn with new and green leaves, in Spring.
Hope never dies at all.
I´m thankful for let me read it.
"The loss of all that could of been" That is the defination of no hope...and books strewn on the floor...nice work Peter...bkm
I feel that your images could speak of personal loss of hope or describe a place like Japan where the loss and destruction have been devestating. Well, that's the nature of poetry isn't it. Enjoyed reading.
Loss of hope. Perhaps the greatest of all losses. Profoundly sad and intensely beautiful.
This is very beautiful; lonely but lovely
great poetry
pulled at my heart! beautifully written, wonderfully expressed!
Each stanza carries some element of "tarnish"! This keeps the metaphorical theme of sadness/melancholy running through the poem! And the sequence of connecting images play the role of a heightening atmosphere! Delightful!
This is such a beautiful write about my friend/foe Mr Meloncholy.
As a rhyming poet (although I didn't rhyme my one shot) I really appreciate rhyme done well. Perfect meter and I love the rhyme scheme.
despondency drawn with a delicate pen. lovely and lyrically sad.
thats so....so bloody bang on..pardon my language...its sad but it doesnt let me feel sorry for you...like losing hope but a raw anger wanting to fling those books strewn across the floor at something..somebody...
beautifully beautifully expressed.
A sad note but very powerful!
The image your words painted was so vivid and clear!
We all have walked along this shore.. isn't it?
This is one brilliant write :)
Many Hugs xoxox
Sad but simply beautiful!
"Hope was blown through open doors
across the green beyond the street
to fall amongst the rubbish bins
where foxes fought for scraps to eat."
Pete, this flows so nicely. Wonderful word picture...
Sad but amazing. I love the opening lines and your imagery makes me feel I rode the wave too.
Stopping by from One Shot. Beautiful.
Superb imagery. You really bring out the emotion.
Hope, you didnt loose the grip on that hope completely..the only thing that keeps one alive thru the darkest night at times.
Raw and emotional. You packed a punch with this one Pete. Thank you for sharing.
Let's go knock back a few pints and wring this out for you, Pete!
sometimes we need to remember to forget
great write Pete...flows with our lives
Peace, hp
thanks for stopping by, mate
Your feelings of lost hope are expressed so vividly in this poem. A fantastic piece.
A memorable and intelligent write, which has so many loved lines that I'm finding it hard not to feel envious of your talent. It reads as a very authentic and perceptive poem.
Thank you. James.
Descriptive,thoughtful and sad. Life is short.
some great lines in this one, especially the second and third stanza... I always seem to think rhyme as "old & sweet", yours was pure mod grit... wonderful~
Self-indulgence is the existential molasses of subjectivity.
OneLove--Tiger Windwalker
heart-wrenching! but beautifully written. amazing!
Pete, this actually hurts. It's also so true for so many. Poignant write!
to not hope anymore is sad. and ur words echo it so, Pete! the first verse itself gets out the emotions! wonderful. back to Oneshot hop after awhile, planning to read as much as I can esp since I've no hopes of writing daily this summer :)
My One Shot Wednesday
Somehow (why) the flow of your quatrains here reminds me of Poe-- great write & fun to read out loud.
Very nice one shot indeed, Pete. Really enjoyed the perfect flow of this piece. The last two lines dug deep and hit the bittersweet spot we like to keep hidden. Thanks for not being afraid to hit us where it hurts
Thanks for this
Very atmospheric and loved the way it all tied up in the last verse
very well written as is most of the things I have read of yours
very well written as is most of the things I have read of yours
Love this line "where words were mixed with scattered doubts". Great imagery in these lines. I can see it and feel it.
Post a Comment