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Tuesday, 14 December 2010

Fallen Dreams


Fallen Dreams

Your castle walls where built upon
A dream of gold and wondrous things
But dreams will die when trust has gone
And hope will fade when truths are seen
The friends that come will offer words
But words are all they have to say
As ego’s fight for all their worth
Whilst those that gave are left betrayed

Outside your dream the world still moved
And spun as one with life’s new threads
That passed you by whilst others fought
To live a life with hope bereft
When pinched to stir and waken thee
You rubbed the sleep from out your eyes
But all had gone with walls decayed
And all had seen through all your lies

A walk was sought through moonlit streets
That felt the cold of winters chill
Alone you paced the cobbled paths
And touched the pain that keeps you still
As fire fades within your soul
And dreams no longer rule your home
The castle walls will tumble down
And in the ruins …..you sit alone

*************

I have been in a reflective, melancholy mood and, although this is not one of my best, this was what flowed from my pen.....

Fallen dreams is my poem for One Shot Wednesday, week 24, part of One Stop Poetry. A platform for sharing and promoting poetry. Check out the latest announcement about their forth coming anthology also

image courtesy creative commons flickr http://www.flickr.com/photos/24072855@N08/



38 comments:

D.A.W said...

This poem,your words...they capture the state I've been in perfectly...well done friend

cheers

Michael Perkins said...

you sit alone...

wow....

repressedsoul said...

Pete, if that came from being reflective, you're on fire. Chin up mate, it won't last forever. Hope you're ok.

S

forpuck said...

You have a great sense of flow Pete, I dug this.

Diana Lee said...

Magnificent in its sadness

Brian Miller said...

dont apologize pete...what comes out of your pen is honest and that is what matters...and i too have been there recently so...

Phoenix-Karenee said...

And steady, there, within the depths
a solid rock on which to rest
others who grasped and built on sand
now tell how worthy, solid land.
And grace sings low within the storm
that love is strong and love is warm.

---

Sometimes poetry sings to my heart and I can't help but hum along to the tune. Hope you don't mind me sharing!

I think your poem reflects how my husband must be feeling just now since he's been out of work for nearly a year.

But I can't doubt God in this time. His creative hand works grace and beauty out of the worst the world can do, and that is redemption. Courage!

Louise said...

You really are an amazing poet - and you write honestly and with your heart...I've been there recently too...'outside your dream the world still moved'...yeah, know that feeling!
beautifully written :)

giovannicucullo said...

Kudos to you my friend.
Melancholy yet extremely moving.

Lynne H. said...

I connected ..immediately to this..
it's beautiful....simply heartbreakingly beautiful..

marousia said...

The melancholy is so seductive in this poem - thank you for sharing

Miranda said...

one of my favourites, actually. It felt so good to read, i don't know if that made any sense but it felt good. Claudia from one stop read a poem of hers and this struck me as a poem one would want to listen to.
Feel better and be thankful you can channel melancholy-ness into works of art. I am.
Miranda<3

Teresa said...

What a great poem. It really does come from the heart. Hopefully, channeling the feelings will help.

Maureen said...

There is much deep feeling here. I'm glad that it finds its expression in your poetry.

Steve Isaak said...

Nice, doom-themed work. Made me smile.

hedgewitch said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. There's something about this time of year, when winter sets in with a vengeance, that has us casting over our world like hounds looking for a scent of something to keep chasing...you may not think it your best, pete, but it spoke to me.
Cheers, (as you always say)
~hw

joanny said...

Strong intense digging deep into ones soul speaking ones truth. It is like 'Pluto' is shining a light and bringing up to the surface what lies beneath.

deeply moving,
joanny

jen revved said...

This is lovely, Pete. I share your melancholia, esp after hearing of the refugees run aground on Christmas Island tonight...xxxj

Kavita said...

I rate your poems OUTSTANDING!! Be they sad or joyous, I always read them out aloud... cuz they are so rhythmic and well paced!
Your words here took me to a ramshackle castle, with its walls caving in on me, and with no one to turn to... Emotions oozes out of your poem, my friend.. it's simply beautiful (albeit sad)

I hope your melancholia has abated by now, Pete...
Take care, and best wishes!!!

Aquarius63 said...

Wonderful profound and heartfelt poem.

Anita.

DeLi said...

isnt it always teh hightlight of fallen dreams...waking up to it and sitting alone?

Jerry said...

Melancholy isn't the worst place from which to jump into writing.
thanks for sharing.

Caribbean Fool said...

Gotta say I liked it, if only because it matched my mood and you have a fantastic skill toward description. Melancholia is hard to strike the right note with but I think you did a wonderful job. Very much enjoyed the read even with the darker subject matter/theme.

crb.

lukepraterswordsalad said...

sad tale... especially appreciate your structure/meter, which is nicely consistent in iambic tetrameter. Do you realise the difficulty I have trying to explain iambic meter and how to feel it/write it to decent free verse poets? You say you're self-taught - then you must have a natural gift. Iambic meter allows the lines to roll along very smoothly, as I'm sure you can feel as you write them. It's closest to how we speak, so not just an arbitrary convention. Your rhymes feel natural and unforced also. You could write something like a sonnet or villanelle no problem.

Nice stuff man

Luke

JH said...

a pictorial piece, deep felt emotions here... nice

Myrna R. said...

Your melancholia produces really good poetry. You reveal your open heart here.

Eric Alder said...

Sounds like you've fallen into the winter doldrums, Pete. (Get some sun!) Nice One Shot, though sorrowful.

Desert Rose said...

I feel you Pete.been there.Hold on buddy, Tomorrow is just a day away..:)
YOUR TALENT IS FLOURISHING WITH EVERY POEM Pete..OUTSTANDING..:)

Claudia said...

touching the pain - pete this comes so honest, flowingly and heartfelt - i think it's one of my favorites of you - and it meets me at a place i know well when the castle walls tumble down...and you wonder what is left..

Alegria Imperial said...

Really, I'm so much in awe of your sense of rhyme and meter, Pete! And in this poem of pain and foreboding, the honesty of your lines and the purity of feeling have taken on such shape it nonetheless finishes with an uplifted sigh. Thanks, Pete, for taking us in and out of so familiar a state!

Heather Grace Stewart said...

Great flow and mood. I say use all your moods as a writer--pen them all! My poems this week are rather serious too. What say over the holidays we make each other laugh again?
Thanks for One Shot.
Heather

signed...bkm said...

Oh our fallen dreams....sitting alone..at times we all our there in that space..to stay above it, renew it a life long journey...it is what keeps us alive...always a read read here Peter...bkm

Kodjo Deynoo said...

Dreams will die when trust has gone... So true Pete. loved this one

dustus said...

Your sense of lyrical flow cannot be taught. You've something special, mate. Chin up. Bad time of year for melancholy poets.

Beachanny said...

You know I love your work! Don't you dare slide off into despair. Dum Spiro Spero! ...

Sumit Sarkar said...

very well captured emotions...

"A walk was sought through moonlit streets
That felt the cold of winters chill
Alone you paced the cobbled paths
And touched the pain that keeps you still"

These are my fav lines... :)

liv2write2day said...

You convey the mood so well...a common atmosphere that seems to descend with winter gloom. I find your writing to be classical, elegant.

My One Shot: http://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/2010/12/13/on-reading-a-poem-for-poetry-potluck-and-monday-morning-writing-prompt/

Hope said...

heartfelt and deep.
Appreciate this one very much!
love the flow and rhythm.
Excellent!

thank you