A Cold Touch
a poem by pete marshall
Beneath the ice the fish still swim
as sacks lay strewn around the bins
where food is dragged from bags that split
mixed with snow and dirt and grit
sprawled across the concrete street
where foxes sniff for scraps to eat
and people tread and slip on slush
or slip on turds beneath the crust
The frozen earth and crumpled sounds
of angels dancing on the ground
and children sleighing down the hill
A snowball thrown, a wondrous thrill
Inside a house of Christmas scenes
the old will freeze in log fuelled dreams
and cars still churn their poisoned fumes
that stain the snow from white to gloom
the shops will sell and clear their shelves
as panic mounts a war with wealth
whilst those without will be the damned
as winter grips this wonderland
*****************
Snow has hit the UK!!!!!
This is my poem for One Shot Wednesday, part of One Stop Poetry, which is a great weekly platform to help promote your work, make friends & learn new styles. opens tonight at 10pm UK time
image courtesy of creative commons flickr http://www.flickr.com/photos/boynton/
55 comments:
winter is not my favorite time of year, very cold. But your poem is delightful and could make me look at the chilly winter a bit different now;)
cheers
Oh this is a brilliant poem Pete...nice beats...
Snow all around... :)
Great poem, I loved this line:
The frozen earth and crumpled sounds
of angels dancing on the ground
Lovely xx
I'm gald I checked out poems BEFORE posting, mine was along the same lines. I'm going to have to try and be original now aren't I?
Great poem, it's strange seeing you soft southerners getting all this snow though. We haven't quite had enough to build a snowman yet :(
You describe so well the city snow and slush. It is not quite the pretty scene it is here. Another wonderful poem.
Christine
you almost make me like snow...brrr. It is beautiful, until you have to go outside and drive in it :)
Your poem felt a little Dickensian today, our Pete. It's even a little nippy in Dallas today (yes I am up here..had eye surgery today). Wonderful poem, as always. I wonder if there will be snow when I come in January? Hm, London in the snow? I'll try to bring sunshine as I usually do. Wish I could bring jobs too..sigh. Keep your chin up, son, your work is so good, you will be discovered soon.
I loved this poem enviously. Wish I had your knack for using words that convey such meaning. I really like this.
angels dancing on the ground
white as they may
amazing depiction of a snowy day in UK
oh my, freezing and beautiful
nice...you paint the wintery scene well my friend and even mix in a bit of social commentary...a delight to read...
Great write, Pete. Smooth flow and depth. There's a lot going on under the surface. Very telling imagery. Cheers :)
Those last two lines do give this poem "a cold touch" and imbue your piece with so much truth.
Wonderful use of details.
for some reason I felt like opening a bottle of wine with this one!
love the way you magically produce a story with great rhythm and weaving words! love this line,
'old will freeze in log fueled dreams'
magic!
thank you
stay warm
All the beauty and all the squalor, all the time, with you my friend. I so enjoy the way you play with my mind, making me think of angels and stepping on frozen excrement all at once. Great stuff, as always.
I like the rhyme and rhythm
And yet snow has not hit here so far, in fact, it was 50s (Fahrenheit) and raining...well, supposedly that's to change tomorrow. C'est la vie.
Brilliant opening for the season, Pete - Winter is at hand! Lovely descriptions, Pete, and smooth as ice.
Great flow and feel for all effected by winter and holiday season. Excellent.
Tightly-woven winterwork.
The frozen earth and crumpled sounds
of angels dancing on the ground
- love that vision and can faintly hear the tapping!
You've captured the holiday season in all its dubious ambiguity...personally, I rather slip on slush than on turds.
Your poem cooled me down. It's boiling in NZ.
Such a great poem for the thrill and excitement of snow!
Nice one, Pete. I love the "stain the snow from white to gloom." Well done.
Very Nice.
Snow is expected here in NY on Sunday; I hope to be inspired.
i'm w/ maureen-- details make this piece-- i see it as quite political and am grateful you don't idealize the season...xxxj
Thoughts covered deep within this wonderland of words, thoughts conveyed well, bundled tight like children at play.
Ahaa.. cold indeed... brrr...
You have a lovely way with words, Pete...
Despite the bleak days, I am sure you will have an AWESOME winter!!
Now me, I love winters for the
Snow - not the sludge
Cheer - not the grudge
Snuggle - not the chills
Cocoa - not the pills
:)
Best Regards..
ahh we never have snow in my country Pete..Egypt is ever sunny and warm..so,for all who find it a blessing,somehow we miss this part of nature ..we might even dream of playing with snow balls like kids ,thats why we consider Europe at times in winter..still,i find your poem very well expressed and picking a different view of snow..i am certainly a winter person,so i did enjoy the chill reading it..:)
love it Pete..as usual,you EXCEL..:)
Oh love the melodious sound of this poem
Graphic imagery in words of the weather at the moment. Brrr. Love the smooth flow of your poem.
Anita.
http://anitaslovepoetry.blogspot.com/2010/03/my-sunkissed-requiescence.html?spref=fb
i feel the shivers of snow-wind...but the words lead me back to the warmth of that Christmas promise
Pete: this is so topical....and gritty. The nature of Xmas, the wealth and no wealth, the duality I guess of the 'season'....
A great and absorbing poem. Makes one think....
My best to you in this doubtful season.
Lady Nyo
I have never seen a "turd" so nicely placed. Such a street smart descriptive....We got our first dusting today...here we go winter!
I have never touched or walked on snow :(
hope one day I can do so...
Brilliant poem
cheers from Uruguay
This is terrific Pete. As always. Great one shot. Love and Light, Sender
We're getting our first snow in my part of Michigan this morning - yay - and the drive home after work should be interesting.
(I still can't figure out why the first snow turns everybody into little old ladies when it comes to driving. It happens every year!)
Nice One Shot, Pete!
so glad we don't have snow yet! really enjoyed the rhythm and images, Thanks!
City snow, not much joy, anticipating gray, mounds at corners, much poop frozen in and no thaw 'til spring..city livin' mon!
I actually felt colder after reading this - brrrr!
lots of great visuals! I like that both the good and the bad coexist....it's snowing today but not much. Nice one shot
you always manage to mix sth dream-like into an "ordinary" topic pete...enjoyable read...with the angels dancing on the snowy streets..
Always so impressive your writing!!! I've always loved the snow...maybe not being frozen so cold I can barely move, but just the elegance of the white...more in the country, but it changes so quickly with the traffic and the town and city lives, and damaging ice causing it's wrecks in the hustle, and it looks far sadder. (sanding trucks & salt & brown..and slushy yuck) ~ yes you pulled my memories of the north (MA. & NY) all in with this poem! So very well done! ~April
These last two line were too perfect:
"whilst those without will be the damned
as winter grips this wonderland"
Nice.
Outstanding write Pete...fish swimming beneath the ice was a cool picture and the last stanza sent was thought provoking.
Cheers!
I love the gritty realism mixed with your poetic delivery, a real winning combination.
I really enjoyed this winter slice of life from a UK perspective, I could identify with the imagery.
Nice writing!
Oh did I like this one. It was a wondrous low all the way to wonderland. :)
Woohoo! Grab the sleds! GReat poem Pete
Hi Pete
Your poem is wonderful... being in Chennai, winter is hard to come by so I miss it. I enjoyed last year December when I was in London and this time I am enjoying it through your words...
Great and thanks...
So many rich thoughts of fluid imagery.
One of my favorites:
"the shops will sell and clear their shelves
as panic mounts a war with wealth"
The other face of winter!It's not all white and merry.
Real cool write,Pete.So into reality.
I felt a cold touch in my heart while reading the last stanza. There are so many great things you wrote about too, the angels, children sleighing, the thrill of the a thrown snowball...lovely
Pete - Loved the imagery of the fish swimming beneath the ice. We are still waiting on the first frozen precipitation of the season but your poem brought to mind the storms of last winter that buried the eastern US with like 4 feet of snow. Anyhow, I enjoyed your take very much, the rhyme scheme really helped to underlie winters refrain running through the poem. Wonderful job as always,
crb.
I love winter. And your poem is wonderful!
Thanks for this one shot!
retrieval
hi.....thankyou all for your wonderful comments...believe it or not it started to thaw...then iced over...the pathways are treacherous and i worry for the old....as lovely as snow looks when it first lands and all the excitement it brings, it really can be a killer and i urge you all to just keep your eye out because you never know there maybe somebody struggling to get through it, even next door...cheers pete
This is simply awesome..
Magnificent piece of write..vivid imagery...
"old will freeze in log fueled dreams"
amazing..
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